There are many great and amazing women in this world. And then… there are the others. In the full transparency theme of the My Diary section of my blog, I have to KEEP IT REAL.
As a woman who has had a range of experiences with other women—from being bullied for being “flat-chested” or being called “white girl” to shedding tears of joy for another woman’s success—I have a deep understanding of the complexities of female relationships.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is that you cannot expect people to have the same morals and values as you. You cannot expect YOU out of someone else. In transitioning from having my “crew” to being ALONE, I have learned how important it is to navigate a world full of so-called “BAD BITCHES.”
When Did the “Bad B****h” Turn Into Just a BAD B****h?
There was a time when being called a “bad b***h” was a compliment. But these days, we just have a bunch of BAD b*****s—and not in a good way. The most disappointing part? Many of these women are in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s. I once believed that wisdom and empathy came with age. Clearly, I was wrong.
I used to take it personally when random women were mean or rude to me for no apparent reason. But then I realized: the way people treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Once that clicked, I stopped being offended. Instead, I saw their actions as a manifestation of their own unhappiness.
The Glow That Triggers Their Shadows
If you are a confident woman, even moderately attractive, with an amazing personality, people naturally gravitate toward you. And unintentionally, you will ruffle feathers.
Your light exposes their darkness. Your confidence highlights their insecurities.
Many of these women do WAY too much for MUCH LESS. Women who don’t value themselves, have low self-esteem, or are desperate tend to lead with sex, assuming that’s the only way to be valued. Then they assume every other woman is doing the same. When they realize a woman can have real, platonic friendships with men, they feel threatened. They can’t understand how relationships can be built without manipulation or desperation.
The Sickness of a Bitter Spirit
I pray for women struggling to find value, love, and peace within themselves. To HATE a person you don’t know is SICK. Instead of spending money on hair, lashes, and material things, maybe it’s time to invest in therapy. Or a retreat. Or prayer.
To vibrate SO LOW that you have to gossip, plot, and create false narratives to bring another woman down is SICK. I pride myself on being an INDIVIDUAL. I don’t need a crew. I don’t need validation. I don’t need a crowd. I have GOD. And GOD doesn’t play about me.
The Dark Side of Femininity: Identifying Toxic Traits
- The Jealous Woman – She constantly compares herself to others, feeling threatened in relationships or friendships. Her jealousy manifests in subtle digs, passive-aggressive behavior, or attempts to sabotage others.
- The Envious Woman – Unlike jealousy, which fears loss, envy despises success. She resents other women’s achievements and happiness, often pretending to celebrate them while secretly wishing for their downfall.
- The Hateful Woman – A bitter soul who thrives on negativity. She cannot celebrate others’ successes because she views life as a competition. Her words are often laced with malice, and she projects her unhappiness onto those around her.
- The Insecure Woman – Constantly seeking validation, she struggles with boundaries and self-worth. Her insecurities make her defensive, overly sensitive, and quick to assume the worst in others. She may also become possessive in friendships and relationships.
5. The Gold Digger – She values material wealth over emotional connections. To her, relationships are transactional, and she sees people as stepping stones rather than individuals.
6. The Opportunist – Unlike the gold digger, who seeks financial gain, the opportunist uses people for social status, influence, or personal advancement. She forms relationships based on convenience and discards people when they are no longer useful.
7. The Liar – Manipulative and deceitful, she twists reality to suit her narrative. She gaslights others, spreads false information, and distorts facts to maintain control over situations and people.
8. The Drama Queen – She thrives on chaos and exaggeration. Whether it’s stirring up gossip, playing the victim, or causing unnecessary conflict, she feeds off attention and keeps those around her in a constant state of turbulence.
9. The Follower – Lacking individuality and self-awareness, she conforms to the crowd, even when it means partaking in toxic behaviors. She finds comfort in groupthink, avoiding accountability by hiding behind the opinions of others. She usually attaches herself to the “main character” personality and cannot stand alone.
Once you recognize these traits in women around you, you must decide how to navigate them. No matter how much you try to “upgrade” your circle, these traits WILL show up. The key is knowing how to maneuver through it with intelligence and GOD’s grace.
When Women Become Obsessed
Typically, when women realize they can’t manipulate or intimidate you, they become angry. That anger turns into obsession. And before you know it, they’re psychotic.
- I’ve had women hate me simply because of my friendships with certain men.
- I’ve been excluded from panels because of someone’s personal vendetta.
- I’ve been lied about due to the psychological effects of colorism.
And in NONE of these situations can a woman say, “Lauren did this to me.”
I am a girl’s girl. If I have an issue, I go straight to the source. Yet, when I confront these women, they don’t want to speak. When I see them in person, they can’t make eye contact.
“Once they realize hate isn’t working, they start making up lies.”
— Unknown
There’s No Trophy for Being a Mean Girl at 45
There is no prize for grown women acting like high school mean girls. There is no status upgrade for lying on another woman. There is no honor in cliquing up to tear someone down. I have LITERALLY received phone calls from men telling me things these women say to try to make me look less attractive.
I can understand “exposing” someone for bad behavior. But to LIE? That’s the ULTIMATE SICKNESS.
My only conclusion is that this is SPIRITUAL WARFARE. If you look closely, you can see the demons in their eyes. The irony? These same women will be the first to call themselves “women of GOD.”
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
— Ephesians 6:12-20
Protect Your Energy & Let God Handle It
These women are weak enough to let the devil use them to try and break YOU. But here’s the truth:
- They can’t understand why people gravitate to you while they CRAVE attention.
- They can’t understand why your relationships are solid while they are left empty.
- They can’t understand why they can’t destroy you—no matter how hard they try.
“He will prepare a table for you in the presence of your enemies. Bless those that curse you.”
They will NEVER succeed. Because GREATER is HE that is in YOU. The best revenge? Your success. Let GOD handle them—because trust me, He can do WAY more than you ever could.
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